April is for Disestablishmentarianism

In first grade, on the first day of each month, students were asked to share a word that began with the same letter as the month (e.g. A : April). My word for April was Antidisestablishmentarianism. Oh believe me, I won hands down (later in life I learned it was not a real competition - but I still won). And I actually knew the meaning of the word, unlike "scaremonger" which I still haven't sorted out. Whether for it or against it, all this mentariansim has to do with churches and governments and whether they are for them or against them (either side, either way).

Well, it's April again and those for or against govenments being for or against something are sharing words again. America's bright leader, O'Bamerly, has taken to the streets of the United States of Europe to apologize for America. His Husseinness is greeted with chants and riots and demonstrations with a decided economic tone. One sign reads "Death to Capitalism". It turns out, America's problem is that we are a nation of Capitalists - we like to capitalize everything, especially the first letter of words and that makes the french very angry. As a nation we have held and operated on odd economic theories such as "invent a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door". It worked for a couple hundred years, but apparently, the joke is over and we must all forsake the trap and learn to live with the rats.

The funniest theme in Europe's greeting of The-Man-Formerly-Known-As-Barry is "Abolish Money". I have wondered if those sincere protesters wanted to be paid in beets. Maybe so, I'm not a socialist so I don't know what passes for value in decaying Europe. Turns out, nothing passes for value. No seriously, "NOTHING" is the only thing that has value. Read this short post: Socialism Or Your Money Back. No possessions, no property, no heaven above us, no hell below. Oooo, just Imagine. That blog posting references another, more thoughtful monologue on socialism (entitled "SMASH CASH") which is worth the read - it's from 1968, so you know it's good for you.

Now, you ready for the big news? I'm a socialist with a capital... oops, socialism means neither capital nor capitols. I'm a lower-case socialist. In fact, I think socialism is the lowest case of life on earth. It only works when survival is most dire, oh say, in a Plan B world. In the Smash Cash article, the author admits that only 10% of the workforce may actually work, but that's okay, because there'll be so much produced by the 10% that the other 90% can sit and "watch the telly all day". There's a Utopia. 90% sucking the life out of the 10% who are stupid enough to get up and work. Here's the question, where do I apply to be in the 90%, because I sure don't want to waste my time working! Have you seen what's on the telly lately!

Yes, socialism works great when all in the system are "incentivized" (an archaic word from the ancient capitalist country Capitalia whose capitol is Capitalus) to work. Focus now, when SHTF, when I grab my B.O.B. and G.O.O.D. heading straight for El Rancho Plan B, I will be living the socialist dream. I will not use cash for anything and I will be free to consume anything I need from the communal pantry. And if I feel like watching telly instead of... oh, uh oh, gear shift, if I don't work, who's going to fill the pantry? Oh, yes, of course, my wife will. And if it's just the two of us, she'll represent 50% of the poulation doing the work so we'll have 5x more than those poor European schlubs who are watching telly. This is a plan as near perfection as I can possibly Imagine.

It doesn't matter what governments establish or disestablish. If it doesn't work, it is not the government who will suffer, it is the people - as always. Point to one country where government-established socialism has worked? (sound of crickets chirping) But, if you are willing, you can come to the Plan B compound, and get anything out of the pantry you want... so long as you also put something in. In Plan B world, there is no telly, no cash, and there is no free lunch. Welcome.