These Are The G.O.O.D. Old Days

Let's continue exploring that fascinating future moment in America's biography when the Scallops Hit The Fan (herein after SHTF, an old epicurean metaphor illustrating the despoilage of something sweet and valuable - in this case, our freedom and luxurious way of living in the early part of the 21st Century).

There are variable rates at which chaos will descend depending on the nature of the calamity. A natural disaster (literally "bad star") could be sudden (earthquake or mega-volcano, maybe a prodigal asteroid, are the only likely hemisphere-impacting events). The question is, with the grid down, when will and how will those removed from the epicenter of the event know what has happened? It could take weeks for word to spread - by word of mouth - to residents suffering the effects of an unknown affliction. Depending on the magnitude (or in the case of a volcano, magma-tude) of the event and damage to the grid, it will be anyone's guess how long residents will be without utilities and essential resources. My thinking today is that I'll give the grid three days to resurrect from the dead and then I'm bugging out.

If the SHTF event is man-made, then my tipping point for bugging out is really variable. If a foreign power hits us with sufficient nuclear blasts / EMPs to disable the grid, then I'm G.O.O.D. as soon as I can break into my own house (which is currently accessed only by a grid-based garage door opener) and get my B.O.B. Of course, the difficulty (as with natural disasters) is getting credible information about what has really happened. Assuming I have been faithfully watching FOX News (as is my practice) and a credible threat is followed by dynamic event, then I'm bugging out - sooner than later. I can always apologize later for missing a couple days of work. They know I'm nothing if not paranoid.

The real problem with bugging out is coordinating my buggin' with my wife and children. Right now, at this second, if SHTF, I've got to go collect my two youngest sons from school. Who else will be trying to do the same? How long will it take to fetch them? My wife works close by, she could spint home in 4 minutes. But how will each of us know that it is bug out time? All electronic communications will be D.O.A. I guess we're going to have to have one of those "if such and such happens, starting walking on such and such road toward the house" conversations. Either I'll find them along the way or meet up at home. My older two boys who live on their own (except for my money) will have to discern for themselves if this is IT (as in "IT has Hit The Fan") and find their own way to Plan B Ranch. (Editor's note: My mom (age 94) lives with us. If SHTF happens while she is alive. We're not bugging out anywhere. She is frail and would not likely survive the perils of transition, let alone survive in the raw reality of life without the conveniences / resources that make surving to age 94 possible in the first place. What will we do? Sit right here in suburbia, shoot whoever tries to take my generator, and survive as long as we can. It it unconscionable to think of leaving her alone just so the rest of us can survive. Such moral dilemmae will multiply as SHTF.)

Chaos marks the day. I don't know how much I can do to thwart the chaos. All any of us will have is instinct and a solution that either arises from the chaos or is designed to overcome the chaos. It's not enough to want to avoid the chaos and ensuing calamity, we have to have a well-thought out workable plan - hey, like Plan B.

And if none of this ever happens, I have a cool retreat in the country, 10,000 rounds of ammo, and some yummy MREs. Like I said, I'm nothing if not optimistic!